![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
working forward
Oct. 23rd, 2009 07:11 amI was woken early this morning. The cats have just been neutered, so to keep an eye on them, I've allowed them to sleep with me. Mandalay seems to have had some sort of incontinence attack, as she didn't just wee, she got it all over her back legs. So I got up, fed them both, put my bedclothes in the washing machine and bathed her. Since I was up, I weighed myself too. I've been trying to stay away from the scales too much, certainly not weighing myself obsessively every morning, which is a bad habit from the past, but not necessarily weighing myself at a particular time each week either.
It's a strategy to take me away from obsessing about weightloss and sabotaging myself. Because I get filled with recriminations if I don't achieve certain things. I was talking about fictions of yourself, provided by others, with a very dear friend recently. The fiction provided by my mother was "fat lazy bitch". And those words still ring in my head, 25 years later. I need to dislodge them or not listen to them, but knowing this consciously and getting my subconscious to sign up are two different things.
Anyway, my weight this morning is 13st 2lb, which fills me with quiet joy. It's been a good start so far and the living frugally is working well. Yesterdays menu was banana, Sainsbury Value Chicken and Ham paste on creamcrackers, with a low cal instant asparagus soup and an evening meal of bacon and pea risotto. I'd made a large risotto on Sunday, when my partner was here and put a couple of portions into plastic boxes for dinners during the week.
I'm going to the partner's flat for the weekend - so I need to have a strategy for eating well there, too. It's going to be less easy, but I'm sure we will manage.
It's a strategy to take me away from obsessing about weightloss and sabotaging myself. Because I get filled with recriminations if I don't achieve certain things. I was talking about fictions of yourself, provided by others, with a very dear friend recently. The fiction provided by my mother was "fat lazy bitch". And those words still ring in my head, 25 years later. I need to dislodge them or not listen to them, but knowing this consciously and getting my subconscious to sign up are two different things.
Anyway, my weight this morning is 13st 2lb, which fills me with quiet joy. It's been a good start so far and the living frugally is working well. Yesterdays menu was banana, Sainsbury Value Chicken and Ham paste on creamcrackers, with a low cal instant asparagus soup and an evening meal of bacon and pea risotto. I'd made a large risotto on Sunday, when my partner was here and put a couple of portions into plastic boxes for dinners during the week.
I'm going to the partner's flat for the weekend - so I need to have a strategy for eating well there, too. It's going to be less easy, but I'm sure we will manage.
