what, again?

 Well another long time since I updated because yet another major falling off the wagon. But hey, never say never. I could be slightly dishonest and claim that I was trying to listen to my body, but that actually translates to not taking any real notice of my body and eating whatever I had a whim for. And I haven't managed to establish any type of exercise regime either. Although, in slight defence of myself, I did unfortunately get a frozen shoulder in 2013, which took me out of action for some time.

And the inevitable happened, worse than ever. Just before going on holiday, I weighed myself and it wasn't pleasant news. 14 st 8 lb, ouch. I have never in my life been this heavy before :-( But I wasn't going to let that stop me enjoying my holiday to the full and mostly, it didn't. Other than when I came to dress for dinner and discovered that I couldn't get into three of the five frocks that I'd packed. And that one of the other two looked dreadful because it was unpleasantly tight. Looking in the mirror revealed how broad my legs have become again.  And the one day that we spent walking round the old town, I got an unpleasant rash where my thighs rubbed together. On the upside, we spent several hours walking around the old town and I swam every day that I could in the hotel pool.

I didn't stint myself foodwise whilst in Morocco, but I was slightly mindful and ensured that the majority of my plate each day was a combination of protein, salad and vegetables.  Not that I resisted the various glorious bite size morsels of the French inspired patisserie dessert buffet!  And upon return to the UK, it wasn't all bad news, I'd lost a couple of pounds and was now  14st 6lb.  Nonetheless, the holiday humiliations had stuck with me and as such, I was determined to do something about it.  After all, I'm 46 now and it's only going to get harder as time goes on.  And there are little niggles, my knees protest if they're in one position too long, my hips click every so often and just little aches and pains that I didn't used to have make themselves known infrequently.

I started with looking at overhauling my food - it's easy to know that I've been eating too much of everything.  My base diet isn't too bad, I make sure to have sufficient protein, fibre, vitamins and minerals.  But, and it's a big but, I had also had been eating lots of biscuits, cake, icecream, hard cheese, sausages, pizza and crisps.   All of them pretty calorie heavy and nutrition light.  Big but, big butt - my backside does not lie.  

So I started the day after I got back from holiday.  Using some fairly basic principles - lots of vegetables and fruit, plenty of protein (strong tasting to keep things interesting), healthy oils (olive or cold pressed rapeseed oil) in moderation and complex carbs limited.  So no sugar, white bread, biscuits, crisps or cake.  And whilst I was looking something up on the internet (I don't remember what exactly) I stumbled across a personal trainer's blog.  And the more I read on the blog,  the more I was amused and interested, because this wasn't a trainer that wanted people to 'feel the burn', he was interested in endocrinal influences on nutrition, he stressed continual learning and was very much about getting the psychology right with everyone he worked with.  And he trains in a gym that's all of six miles away from where I live.  So I got in touch and on Wednesday went for a free consultation to see if we can work with each other.  It's not cheap, and obviously I'm going to have to do a lot for myself, as I can only afford to see him once per week, where I need to be doing something more regularly than that.  But he's promised to help me get my exercise habit back - the most important thing to me.

And the note of positivity here - he weighed me when I went to see him - eight days after getting back from holiday.  His scales weighed me at 14st 3lb.  It's going in the right direction!

Disorganisation is not my friend

 As suggested by the title, I didn't do as well today as I would have liked.  I woke up reasonably early and should have had a fairly straightforward start to the day.  Except - I've run out of salad stuff for lunches.  The Ocado order is due tonight, so I decided that it was fine, I'd drop into Tesco Express on my way to work and pick up some salad and some precooked roast chicken to act as my protein (my trainer wants me to eat more protein and that's fine).  I'd picked up another yoghurt, some fruit and a pack of roast chicken Mattesson Fridge Raiders for breakfast, because I did have all those things in the kitchen.  BUT I got to the Tesco Express, only to find that I'd left my purse and my work security pass at home.  

So, no salad.  I pressed on to work (fortunately they keep spare passes around for those absent minded members of staff) and decided to keep my breakfast stuff for lunch.  Because, in one of my previous weightloss efforts, I'd been using meal replacement shakes and I had a 'mealpak' that had been swimming round my office desk drawer for maybe a couple of years?  I decided to have that for breakfast - it was a high protein, low carb meal replacement.  But eugh - how foul they are, in comparison with real food.  I really, really don't want to do that again, and I woefully had no vegetables for breakfast or lunch - BOOOOOO!  At least I had my couple of pieces of fruit and I didn't cheat in any way during the day.  But I really really need to be more organised, to make my food up for the following day on the night before.  

Fortunately, the Ocado order has lots of good things in it - plenty of salad packs, plenty of vegetables and plenty of tinned fish as well.  I didn't realise that my tinned fish had run out until I went to get some tuna and not only was there no tuna, there was no other type of tinned fish either.  I like all of the oily fish, so I have now ordered salmon, tuna, anchovies, mackerel, herring and sardines in tinned form.  Fresh would be better, but tbh, I don't really trust fish bought online and I live too far from the sea to have a reliable place to buy.  So I stick to frozen or tinned.  I already have a cupboard full of alternative carbohydrates, including quinoa and rice pasta. 

On a much more positive note, I made burgers for dinner last night.  Literally made them, from scratch.  Peeled an onion, cut off the roots and shoots and then threw it into the food processor to finely chop it.  Then I gradually added 400g of lean beef mince, 1 tbsp of dried parsley, 1 rounded tsp of finely milled sea salt, a generous handful of rolled oats and finally an egg to bind the mixture together.  Pulsing the food processor, it really didn't take long for the mixture to come together into a homogenous mass.  Then I have a burger press that I've had for years and I managed to make 8 good sized burgers from the mix. Literally a couple of minutes preparation, and most of that is peeling the onion!  I fried the result in a good quality non-stick pan, with a little olive oil, and they were juicy and delicious.  We had a couple each, so there are more for another meal!

And another positive note, I started as I've been asked to do by my personal trainer.  I'm not going to see him for coaching for a couple of weeks, as he is about to go on holiday, but in the interim, I'm told to go for twenty minute brisk walks.  I took him at his word, tucked my key into  one pocket, my phone into the  other and my headphones on (80s playlist go go go) and left the house. I marched down to the park, which is very near by, and then continued my march right round the perimeter and back to the house.  And when I say marched, I mean marched, hands loosely balled into fists and pumping my arms in time with my legs.  My trainer might be starting me off gently, but I'm aware of the need to get my heart rate up and breathing a bit heavier.  And using all of my body, rather than just my legs, is a good way to do that.  In total, I was probably out for half an hour, a gentle warm-up to the pelican crossing (keep walking on the spot whilst waiting for the lights), a solid 20 minutes of marching round - and another five minutes returning to home at a slightly slower pace, but still pumping arms.

It was my partner's turn to cook this evening and I thought it should be easy.  Stirfry pack of vegetables and turkey breast.  "Can you have noodles?" "A few rice noodles are fine." "How do I know which are rice noodles?" "Read the pack".  When dinner arrived, it seemed to be all noodles.  He'd read the pack all right and it had told him to prepare 300g dry for four people!  So he'd prepared 150g for 2 - 100g more than I would have done.  Not only that, but he'd undercooked the cabbage, which was like leather and overcooked the turkey.  Oh well, food today was just rubbish